What I think happened at the very end of TS
by polysgirl
Summary: This is a Challenge fic from a different board the challenge: Ranger. What I see happening between Steph and Ranger right at the very end of TS. One shot. Well..maybe not one shot...
1. Chapter 1

My Challenge…Ranger.

Lindsay

"_One Ranger is all you'll ever need."_

Her eyes widened and she choked in the iced cream rose I had just fed her. A myriad of expressions crossed her face, and suddenly she looked way too close to tears. I put the fork down, and carefully maneuvered my chair, then motioned her over. She climbed into my lap, resting against my good side and burying her face in my neck. I hugged her close with my good arm, resting the other hand on her knee. Her bare knee. That little skirt left nothing to the imagination.

"Disapointed, Babe?" I asked her. I hoped I could tease a smile out of her, but she just took a breath and shuddered in my arms.

"You could have died." Her voice was so soft that I had to strain to hear her.

"I didn't." And that was the truth. There was no point in dwelling on what happened. It was over, it was done, everyone came out of it alive, move on. I couldn't deny that it made me think more about how precious life was, but I knew that before, too. It still didn't change anything. She still had to come to me by choice, not coercion, and not with the cop hanging in the background either.

"I told Joe I loved him. I could never say it before." she mumbled into my neck. I felt my heart stop for a minute. I had always hoped...No, I was always positive she would come to me eventually. She shifted away, and pulled back enough, looking up into my face. Tears streamed down her cheeks and her eyes were bluer than the ocean. She opened her mouth, then closed it again. Her fingers came up to play with my hair, and I resisted the urge to push her hand away.

"Babe?"

"It's not just Joe." she whispered, another tear spilling out. "I...I realized... Iloveyoutoo." she rushed out, then burried her face back in my neck. I couldn't help wincing as she shuddered, jarring my ribs. She stiffened and stilled instantly. "I'm sorry." she said into my neck.

"Never be sorry." I told her.

"I'm so pathetic. In love with two men." I tightened my arm around her.

"Not pathetic, Babe." And someday, she would choose. She nuzzled my neck, trying to get closer. I rested my chin against her head, savoring the feel of her in my arms. I loved feeling her in my arms.

"You could have died." She said again. "You could have died, and never known I loved you."

"I knew." I felt her stiffen at my words, and she pushed back to look at me again. Her eyes shone like liquid cristal, and I carefully moved my arm to brush the tears from her cheeks.

"You were going to sacrifice yourself for me. And Julie. You knew you were going to get shot." She accused. "Don't EVER do that again."

I realized then, how serious she was. She couldn't bear to lose me. But that goes both ways. My life would be empty without her. I focused my thoughts back to her demand.

"Babe. It's what I do."


	2. A Continuation

Continuation Challenge….

For Challenge one.

Don't own em, just borrow em.

"_You could have died." She said again. "You could have died, and never known I loved you."_

"_I knew." I felt her stiffen at my words, and she pushed back to look at me again. Her eyes shone like liquid cristal, and I carefully moved my arm to brush the tears from her cheeks. _

"_You were going to sacrifice yourself for me. And Julie. You knew you were going to get shot." She accused. "Don't EVER do that again."_

_I realized then, how serious she was. She couldn't bear to lose me. But that goes both ways. My life would be empty without her. I focused my thoughts back to her demand. _

_"Babe. It's what I do."_

I walked into my apartment, a long time later. It had been an emotional, exhausting afternoon at Ranger's. The last thing I needed, or wanted, was to find Joe sprawled on my couch. When I walked into the living room, he flicked off the television and turned to meet my eyes.

"You were at Ranger's." He said, and it wasn't a question. There wasn't much I could say to that, so I just nodded. "Any particular reason you spent the entire day with him?"

"I..I didn't." I narrowed my eyes. "I took Melvin to court, and then brought Ranger's computer equipment back to him."

"And that took the entire afternoon and half the evening? Stephanie, it's eight thirty at night."

I stared at him for a long minute, and I could see his eyes grow more and more dull as each second passed. "He's hurt, Joe. I stayed to help him out." I said, hating myself for the desperate quality in my voice.

"Yeah." Joe blew out a breath. "I thought we were spending the evening together."

"I..." I didn't know how to say it. I had completely forgotten. The emotionally charged conversation with Ranger, and my inability to sleep well since he'd been shot had blanked my memory. "I'm sorry." I whispered.

Joe cut his eyes away from mine, looking at the closed door, at my bag sitting haphazardly on the counter, anywhere but at me. "And I've been thinking, while I waited for you. I think maybe we should take a break."

"A break?" His words hit me like a ton of bricks. He wanted to take a break? To break it off? To be off-again? "What kind of break?"

He reached out, and tucked curl behind my ear, his finger trailing gently across my cheek. "A long one."

I looked directly at him, and felt my eyes filling with tears. Crap. As if I haven't cried enough today. "How long? Forever long?"

"No. Yes. Maybe. Christ Cupcake, I don't know. What's going on between you and Ranger?"

"Nothing." I stated. And it was true. Ranger didn't want anything.

"What do you want there to be between you and Ranger?" He tried, after staring at me for a long moment with an odd expression on his face.

I didn't have an answer to that. I didn't know what I wanted. Joe stepped forward and hugged me gently, before setting me a step back, his hands on my shoulders, and looking me in the eyes. I could barely see him, through the tears that I wouldn't let fall..not yet.

"Steph... I saw you after he was shot. You've never been like that. I saw him when you were missing. He looked worse than I did. You can't tell me there isn't something between you two."

Well, there was, but I tried to deny it from myself, too. "You hate Ranger. You think he's psycho." Was all I could come up with.

"He offered his life for you." Joe said, then shook his head. "And he never thought twice about it. Hell, he never even thought about it. He just did it." I didn't need that reminder. It was all too close to my heart, and the fact that I knew, I KNEW that he would do it all over again, scared me. "He'll need some help while he recovers, I'd imagine." He added, the twitch in his jaw making it clear just how much it cost him to say it.

"So you want to talk a break."

"I think it's the best thing we could do. You need to figure out what you want. Who you want. When you do, let me know." He kissed me softly on the lips, then stepped around me and opened the door.

"Why?" I asked, my voice sounding faint in my ears.

Joe stopped in the doorway, turned, and smiled sadly at me. "There's this old saying. If you love someone, set them free. If they come back to you, they're yours. If they don't, then they were never yours to begin with. I love you, Cupcake. Very much. And I hope like hell you come back. But if I don't let you go, don't MAKE you go, I'll always wonder." Then the door closed, and he was gone.

In a daze, I stumbled to the couch and fell into it. Joe and I were done. On a break. Indefinitely. I had thought I was going to cry, but I found that more than that, I was too numb. I love him, I thought. I loved him. But I couldn't go back yet - he wouldn't believe it. I don't know how long I sat on the couch. I didn't want to go to bed, I wouldn't sleep anyhow. I couldn't close my eyes without seeing Ranger, bleeding on my living room floor.

As soon as that vision was in my head, I couldn't stand staying in the apartment any longer. I rushed to my bedroom, threw some clothes into a duffel bag, and left. I had no clear idea of where I was going until I was already driving, turning onto Haywood Street. Soon after I pulled into the parking lot, and parked in one of Ranger's spots. I gave the camera a finger wave, my bag slung over my shoulder, and rode the elevator to the seventh floor.

The apartment was dark when I entered. I set the duffel down very gently, and slid my feet out of my shoes before padding my way towards the bedroom, soft as little cat feet. I was reminded of the time Ranger had quoted Sandburg to me, at Uncle Mo's. I stopped in the doorway to his room and took a long look at the dark outline of his form, relieved as my eyes adjusted and I could see the gentle rise and fall of his breathing. In truth, I had planned on sleeping on the couch - just being close to him, but his presence drew me. I wanted the comfort that being near him could bring. Carefully, quietly, I stripped to my underwear and slid in beside him, closest to his uninjured side, curling up against him.

"Babe." He murmured, turning his head towards me. "What're you doing here?"

I stumbled over the irony of the only thing I could think to say next. "Morelli sent me back to you."


	3. Part 3

Same disclaimers as last night!

**A Shift in Perspective, 3**

I woke to Steph's face buried in my neck. My arm was wrapped around her, holding her to my good side. My ribs pulsated with pain, and my body tensed involuntarily, but I schooled myself to ignore it. She must have felt it though, because she mumbled something unintelligible, started to look up, then snuggled deeper into my neck.

"You need your pills?" She asked, her voice muffled by my skin, her breath warm against me. I could feel the stickiness of dried tears on her cheek as she spoke, and I knew that she was trying to avoid me, and the questions she knew I'd be asking. Her motto in life was that if she couldn't see it, it wasn't there, and so if she couldn't see me, right now, I wasn't there and she wouldn't have to deal with explaining what happened the night before. Denial was her best friend. I loved her anyways.

"Only if you're going to cry again."

Steph was impulsive as a rule, and this was no exceptions. My words brought the exact reaction I had hoped for, as she reared up and glared down at me. I grinned at her, and her eyes softened. It always amazed me, how I could get such a reaction from her by so simple a gesture. The slightest touch, a raised eyebrow, or the barest hint of a smile could melt this woman. I slid my hand up her back, coming to rest against her neck. Then I pressed downwards, bringing her face closer to mine, close enough to capture her lips. I slid my tongue along them, and she sighed and opened her mouth, just enough for me to slip in and caress her tongue. Her hands slid into my hair, fisting on either side of my head, and something new, and primal, surged through me. I cupped her cheek and kissed her one more time before gently pushing her back, just a little bit. I was way too sore to go where I wanted to. "I'm afraid, Babe, that that's as far as we can take this, right now."

I guided her back down with my good arm, settling her against me. She didn't say anything, and I left her to her thoughts, just trailing my hand down her back, enjoying the feel of her skin beneath my fingertips. I let my own mind wander, something I rarely afforded myself. I'd never thought I'd see the day when a woman affected me like she did - when I'd LET a woman affect me the way Stephanie did. I had never thought I'd have the opportunity to feel so complete, to find someone who accepted me; idolized me, even. Saw past my facade, to the man underneath. I never thought I'd let anyone see the man underneath, but over time I found I couldn't help but give her glimpses. I knew she was thinking about Morelli, and could feel her body change as she started to think about the night before. We had to talk about it, but I wasn't sure I wanted her going there in her own. She'd probably cry again. I'd never heard her cry the way she did last night. Huge, heartwrenching sobs that wracked her whole body and sent jolts of pain through mine. Selfishly I was glad the tears were for Morelli. That I hadn't made her... Oh. Shit. Had I?

"I hope I've never made you cry like that." I said softly. I had to know, and I didn't want to ask. Her only answer was a shrug, and I froze.

"You don't want to know how I reacted when you were dying on my floor." She said, her voice choked.

I already knew about that, and didn't want her rehashing it or going there, at all. Not right now. Right now, I needed her to develop some emotional distance from what had happened in her apartment. "I meant after our night." I told her, diverting the subject, even though it meant a discussion of something I'd rather leave in the past.

"I don't think my heart was involved enough, yet. It hurt, but..." But not like Morelli hurt her, I finished for her. Because she loved him, properly. I wondered if I was just second best, second choice. And I needed to know what made him turn her away.

"Why'd he do it?" I asked.

"Morelli?"

"Babe." I knew she knew what I was talking about.

"You sure you don't need your pills?" She was stalling.

"I want a clear head while we talk about this." I said. I wasn't beyond blackmail, and I knew she wanted me to take my pills, that she was worried I was in pain. If she talked, I would take the pills, and we'd both win..or lose, depending on how you looked at it. I hated the drugs, and the lack of control that came with them. And she didn't want to talk.

She sighed, and I knew she knew what I was up to. "He realized that... that he didn't have all of me, I guess. Or even most of me. I don't know. He said he was cutting me free, and if I came back to him, I was his."

"And if not, he never really had you." I finished for her, and felt her nod underneath my chin.

"Pretty much."

"And you came to me." I added. My breath caught for a minute, and I hoped she didn't notice. This was the question, the one whose answer meant...more than anything had meant to me in my life. "Why?" She didn't answer, and I felt her withdraw from me, emotionally. "Babe?" I prodded.

"Because he told me to. Because you needed me. I don't know. I needed somewhere to go. I couldn't stay in the apartment, knowing you'd been shot there, almost died there."

And she'd manage to avoid the answer I needed most. I had to know if I was only second choice. "Why?" I asked again. She'd told me the afternoon before, but I needed to hear it again.

"Because I love you." She admitted, her voice hitching. "I'm too old for this, Ranger. I'm too young to swear off men forever, but too old to keep playing at this." She started to pull away from me, and I tightened my arm to keep her beside me. "I'm in love with two men. One who loves me, but who realized he wasn't enough for me and packed it in...and one-" she cut herself off on a sob, and swallowed, taking a breath or two to compose herself. I squeezed her gently, prodding her without words to go on. "one...I'll never be enough for the other. I shouldn't have come." She reared back quickly, escaping from my arms and rolling across the bed.

I lunged after her. I wasn't aware of anything but the crystal clear knowledge that I could not let this woman leave my bed. If she left now, that would be it. I caught her, pinning her underneath me, collapsing on top of her as my body trembled like a newborn babes. I rested my forehead against hers, and waited for the pain coursing through me to ebb.

"Let me go." she begged, and I could hear the tears in her voice.

"No."

"Please. I love you too much...it hurts to much... to know that you don't want me enough." She was outright crying now, as hard as she had cried the night before.

"Stephanie." I groaned, burrying my face in her hair. "I want you. Way. Too. Much."

"I don't mean physically." she whispered, pushing up on my good shoulder.

"Neither do I."


	4. Part 4 FINALE

Herein lies the final piece to A Shift in Perspective. This is it, finale, finito, the end. Hope you enjoy!

As always, Everyone is owned by the lovely Janet. I'm just borrowin'

This story has been brought to you by the letter B. And S – for SAPPY!

**A Shift in Perspective, Part 4**

All I wanted to do was leave, but Ranger wouldn't let me. He only had one good arm, but he had me anchored so tightly against him I couldn't have gotten loose even if I worked out every day.

"Then how do you want me?" I demanded, snuffling back snot, trying to keep my nose from running too badly. Damned the tears, anyway. I hated crying. I hated being weak.

"You know how I want you." He told me, his voice quiet and serious. The hell I did. The games, the stolen kisses. Oh, I knew he loved me - but did he LOVE me? Or was I just that close friend? I was hardly a lover. Hardly someone he wanted to spend his life with - he'd already told me, three times, that his love didn't come with a ring.

If he truly loved me, his love would come with a ring, at least in it's symbolic meaning.

"I smell something burning." Ranger commented. His voice was slightly strained, as if he was fighting pain. I pulled back, twisting a bit as his arm tightened again.

"You need your pills." I said, carefully slipping out from underneath him. I'd forgotten that I had stripped to my underwear, and when I slid out from under the covers, Ranger's eyes went black.

"Just stand there for a bit. That'll take care of all my ills." He told me. I scowled at him, and he flashed me a grin before I swatted my hand through the air and went to get a glass of water and his meds.

He was watching the doorway when I came back through, and I could see the appreciation in his gaze. I had to admit it made me feel good. It also made me self-conscious, though - something I'd never found with Joe. And shit - I didn't want to be comparing Joe and Ranger. I'd studiously avoided it until now, and didn't want to start. Screw that. To divert myself, and hopefully Ranger, I held up the water bottle and pills. He grimaced.

"Don't need them."

"Bullshit." I argued, walking over to the side. "Now are you going to take them or do I have to pry your mouth open like a cat and force them down your throat?" He gave me a baleful glare and took the pills and water from me. "Besides." I pointed out as he swallowed. "You don't have to worry about staying alert in your own apartment." I took the water bottle and set it on the bedside table.

"Come lay down again." He suggested, patting the bed. I thought I detected a faint pleading in his request, but shrugged it off. Ranger didn't plead. I knew I shouldn't crawl back into bed with him, but my body outweighed the rational part of my brain and I slipped in and snuggled up beside him again. He wrapped his arm around me and cuddled me closer, then let out a soft sigh. "I like having you here." He admitted.

"I thought you might need some help while you were recovering." And I really, really, really didn't want to stay in my apartment. Not right now. The memory of him being shot was too fresh.

"And after?" He asked after a pause. His fingers drummed along my ribs, and a slight tension emanated from him.

"It depends, I guess." I said. I would stay, if he wanted me to, for as long as he wanted me to. And we could explore our options, with no Morelli-induced guilt. And really...by the time he was recovered enough for us to explore our options, I would be less heartbroken about Morelli letting me go. Breaking us off. Flipping our switch to off again. I squeezed my eyes shut to prevent the tears that were welling from falling. I was going to miss Joe. In fact, a part of me wanted to kiss Ranger on the cheek, and go running back and crawl into bed with Joe. I was still just as torn, even now.

And I knew that if I turned around and went back to Joe this morning, he would accept me back. I would have returned, proven I was his. But then, there would be no more stolen kisses in the alley. No more snuggling with Ranger. No more Bulgari. No more adventure, and no chance of someday cruising the interstate with Ranger in the Turbo, the top rolled down and the wind blowing our hair. It was a fantasy of mine.

"Hey." Ranger said softly, his voice a bit groggy from the drugs. "You're thinking way too hard over there. Care to share?"

I wasn't sure I wanted to explain my thoughts. Truth was, I was scared he'd laugh at me, and call me silly. God knows Joe would have.

"Babe." He whispered when I didn't answer, and turned his face to nuzzle my hair. I leaned my head against his, and memorized the feel of his breath, warm on my ear. "Just trying to figure out where we go from here." I simplified.

"Wherever you want to go." He suggested. I nodded and he was quiet for a minute. When he realized I wasn't going to continue, he prodded me gently with one finger, then ran his hand over my ribs. "Where do you want to go?" He asked.

"I don't know. Anywhere." I took a breath. Here goes nothing. "But maybe I could try going with you, this time?" Ranger continued to stroke my ribs, his touch gentle. But he didn't answer me. My heart quivered, and I felt it crack. What surprised me was that this crack hurt way more than the one that had been made when Morelli walked out of my door the night before.

"I'm sorry." I said, so softly I almost couldn't hear myself. "I forgot that your life doesn't lend itself to-"

"Don't." He interrupted me, his arm tightening around me like a vise. "It's not that. Christ, Stephanie," he continued, and I realized that the drugs had weakened his tongue as well as his control over his words. "I want you. In my bed, every night. In my life, every day. I want you to look at me like I'm a fucking superhero, every day. You make me feel like I'm worth something. I want that. But I can't do that to you. I can't give you what you need."

"Can't, or won't?" I asked. There was a different, and I knew it. And I was pretty sure he just wasn't willing to take the effort to try.

"Can't." he whispered. "Babe. There are things you're going to want, things you need, that don't fit with my lifestyle, that never will."

"How do you know I want, or need those things? My lifestyle isn't exactly normal either." I pointed out.

"Babe..." He murmured, nuzzling my hair again. Then he was silent. I had to squish my eyes shut again, fighting back tears. I knew this. I knew this feeling. This was where he sent me back to Morelli. Again.

I was so wrapped up in trying to not cry in front of him, that he startled me when he started to speak again. "I can't offer you the picket fence and 2.5 kids. My love still can't come with that kind of ring. I can't give you what you need."

"What I need or what the Burg expects of me?" I questioned after a slight hesitation. I couldn't see myself with kids, at this stage, and I didn't know if I ever would. All I knew was that I needed this man. That I'd never felt as safe, as secure, and as accepted as I did when I was with him. But I really didn't know if I wanted him to answer this question. I didn't know what I'd do if I lost him.

"What you need, Babe. Even if you don't realize it now." The anguish in his voice was obvious, as was his frustration at being unable to mask his emotions.

"I know what I need. I don't need a ring. I just need you to love me." I whispered into his neck. "Can you do that?"

He was quiet for a minute, then his arm tightened around me as the tension in his body dissipated. I knew he had come to a decision, and I held my breath, waiting for him to answer.

"Every day for the rest of my life."

FIN 


End file.
